The Filing Cabinet of Doom: 17 Bizarro Short Stories by Madeleine Swann

Author:Madeleine Swann [Swann, Madeleine]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Burning Bulb Publishing
Published: 2014-06-30T21:00:00+00:00

***

May called after Alan but there was silence. She peered down the black hole, her heart thumping visibly, and after a few moments Alan’s voice travelled weakly upwards. “May, come down, you have to come down.”

“What? Oh, Christ.” She leaned forwards, oozing towards the cavern like a grub tunnelling into a cow. Holding her breath she tipped forwards, the blood sliding from her feet to her head. When she finally plummeted she wailed loudly, trying to slow her fall by gripping onto the sides, landing on something solid and angular.

“Ow!”

“Well, you should have moved out the way.” May stood up and dusted herself off. Huge machines lined the walls of tunnels that veered in all directions like the inside of an anthill. Operating them were men and women with passive expressions and jerky, robotic movements. All wore overalls and had similar pudgy faces and rounded fingers. “Drones,” May folded her arms across herself, as though frightened one of them would grope her. They exchanged looks, both expecting the other to make the first move.

“Well…I suppose we ought to go to their headquarters and find out how to get out of here.”

“I agree,” said May, and they set off through the tunnel.

They stood in a canteen where several drones sat on long benches. Others wandered in and out, presumably coming to the end of a shift or just beginning one. A poster of The Head Boss covered one wall, his charcoal grey face benevolently smiling down at his subjects. It was a face you could trust and, indeed, some of the drones had drawn love-hearts on the picture. Alan squinted. “Are those lip stains?” They spotted a drone that looked particularly helpful. Those around him ate quietly, sang songs about machines or the Great One while others replaced parts with screwdrivers. Alan explained their predicament and he turned to them with unblinking eyes.

“You’re from up top?”

Alan began to get a bad feeling. “Yes.”

“Oh,” the drone rose to his feet shakily, “Great One! You have come to save us!”

“Oh, for the love of…” Alan kept his smiled fixed as a crowd gathered around them, some literally dropping their food trays and sliding through unpleasant looking gruel. More than a couple had nosebleeds from slipping and hitting the floor.

“Erm,” Alan began, “I think there’s been some sort of mistake…”

“What he means is, he’s more than happy to help you to overthrow the Big Boss!” boomed May. The drones blinked. Alan put his head in his hands.

“Overthrow the…?” They shared looks of confusion.

“Oh, no I meant lead you to live over ground. Why should they get all the sun?”

The drone’s shock mutated into horror. “Live over ground?” they muttered, shaking their heads. May conceded defeat.

“Alright, what exactly do you want?”

One drone went to speak but lost confidence. The others nudged him, assuring him that nobody would tell. “Well, we’d quite like to get some sort of pay. And maybe some sort of group that makes sure you get looked after you know, like a…a…”

“A union,” said Alan.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.